The one time we have Robin Williams onscreen buying a Neon Genesis Evangelion figurine, and it's NOT a comedy? These innovative avenues are leading us into a wackier but healthier future. At least until the robots take over. Raising a little girl is hard. You have all these decisions to make: schools to choose, what to feed them, how to make sure they don't grow up half as weird as you did.
Via Crunchgear. com Good old-fashioned exercise! The product was sold in a chain called Tesco, which is like the Walmart of Great Britian, who denied that this was marketed to children and has since relegated it to the exercise department.
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That's not only about as transparent as selling a pole dancing kit in the children's toy section - it's also a hilariously blatant lie. As advertised on the website before being forced to take it down, the Peek-a-Boo Pole Dancing Kit was "suitable for participants of 11 years old and upwards.
Oh, bonus fun fact for those of you whose eyeballs are still intact: The product description on the box invites purchasers to "unleash the sex kitten inside. A Tesco burns down from, we assume, combustible shame.
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Let's pretend you're shopping for your 9-year-old daughter. You grab the typical stuff little girls like - a unicorn backpack, a pretty psychedelic dolphin trapper keeper that's what little girls are buying these days, right?
And now, to the toy section. There you see the Bratz dolls:. Via Amazon. Those are definitely hot pants and high heel leather knee boots there.
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But, hey, millions of girls were raised on Barbie, with her gigantic inhuman boobs and they turned out fine, right? We like how you can pick between the stiletto heel shoes and the stiletto heel boots. You know, for different occasions. Well, OK, so maybe your kid's not old enough yet for dolls meant for the " to year-old girls who still play with dolls" demographic. And to be fair, while having these dolls as her role models might make back-to-school clothes shopping for your daughter a battle, the dolls are themselves adults.
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It's not like they're telling your little girl that at her age she needs to dress like she's in the background of a rap video. Via Sprocketink. Jesus, can we go to jail for having a picture of an infant in a leather jacket and black panties on the site?
And are we wrong to think that percent of the people in the world named "Roxxi" who wear short, pink fur coats are hookers? We'd think we were misinterpreting what we're looking at there, but we actually can't find a photo of these dolls not dressed skankily:.
Via Buynbuy-sale. Via chicksontheright. We all know that building real confidence and self-esteem is perhaps the most important thing you can do for your child. There are lots of ways to help them along with this: hugs, rigorous readings of Judy Blume and the occasional bar fight with your kid's enemies' fathers, the trophies of which you leave under your child's pillow to find the next morning.
com "Be right back.
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Daddy's gonna go get a pack of confidence. But take a stroll through Abercrombie and Fitch and you'll find that there is a market for parents who think that the best way to boost the self-esteem of your first-grader is via a bikini top that will enhance her bustline. Via Forthoseabouttoshop. Just kidding!
First, they simply changed the name of it from "push-up" to "padded. Oh, but they made sure they still fit year-olds. com "Honey, we need to have a talk about your inadequate, disappointing breasts. Via Dopefiles.
Not only is the above thong sold in the goddamn kid's section where you'd expect to find the Spongebob Underoos, but the tiny thong contains the words "Eye Candy" and "Wink, Wink. Not that they're trying to sexualize your child, or get free publicity by drawing web traffic from pedophiles wink, wink.
Via Networkedblogs. Oh, hey, you know what would be great for drowning out all those sudden, uneasy questions about why thongs are being marketed to extremely underage girls?
Elite Daily asked several women to draw their ideal penis. Using a ruler, they obliged. Some were reluctant. Some eagerly took to the task. "This is actually my favorite thing to do, is to draw penises," one participant said. If this somewhat NSFW video proves anything, it's that penis preference is about as diverse as artistic talent
A visit to the cute little kiddie vending machines next to the door on the mad dash out of the mall! Those machines are just filled with innocent little things you can buy your child, like colorful gumballs, unicorn stickers and those sticky, gummy hands that eventually wind up covered in lint.
Something Weird Retro Cuties # 29 - Coub - The Biggest Video Meme Platform by BB Footage showing a four-year-old child being encouraged to touch a naked man's body for a performance art stunt has sparked outrage in Brazil. The young girl crawls around the man Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins 8 Weirdly Sexual Products You Won't Believe Are for Kids. Raising a little girl is hard. You have all these decisions to make: schools to choose, what to feed them, how to make sure they don't grow up half as weird as you did. And of course, at some
Fake lower back "tramp stamp" tattoos. Or, to put it like Vince Vaughn's character in The Wedding Crashersthe "tattoo on the lower back. Might as well be a bull's eye.
Via Daily Mail. From the same people who give you porn from behind gas station counters and reality shows about swinger couples, comes school supplies all emblazoned with the Playboy logo. Pencils, pencil cases, folders, ring binders really everything she'll need to organize a grade school education while letting the boys know she's the cool girl in class. Via charliegrrl.
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And just to be clear, that is school stationary aimed at underage girls, and ol' Hef dares you to look at all the fucks he's not giving.
From his own mouth, "I don't care if a baby holds up a Playboy bunny rattle. Via People. com This many fucks.
Look at them all. Via halloweenfantasy.
Well, there's certainly nothing new about oddly unsettling "sexy" Halloween costumes. But there's something not quite right about this sexy cop oh God she's Via HalloweenFantasy. Oh, how sometimes you long for the days of your youth, when you'd dress as Dracula and Frankenstein and that four-year stretch where you were a princess every trick or treat night. Times have changed.
Every word in this sentence links to a different "sexy" costume aimed at children. While every single one of these costumes have "child" in the description, you'll see teenagers modeling a few of them. That's not some kind of mistake on their part, as there are subcategories of pre-teen and teen costumes with age-appropriate models in them.
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